Ordinarily, I don't like gum. I can't seem to chew it without injuring myself. It's not that I'm a particularly uncoordinated person -- I can drive for a lay-up, I can play a sixteenth-note lick, and I can make it to level 28 on Puzzle Bobble. But when I chew gum, my cheeks tend to get in the way, and I have to track down a trash can so as not to pulverize them into hamburger.

The only times I'll chew gum are when I'm playing softball or around Halloween. Both are times when it's OK to blow bubbles, which in my opinion is the only reason to chew gum in the first place. The softball thing showed up out of nowhere, honestly -- I'd never played before, then I joined a team and all of a sudden I had a pack of Hubba Bubba in my bag. My preferred chaw is Dubble Bubble, the old-school one with the wax wrapping. Which is where Halloween comes in -- after the descent of the trick-or-treaters, I mysteriously have a handful of the stuff left over.

This year, I found out Dubble Bubble comes in flavors. I'd only known about the pink cylinder before, but here for your elucidation are the flavors of Dubble Bubble.

Color	Official Flavor	Interpretation of Flavor
Pink	Original	Super Ball
Green	Apple	Nail Polish Remover
Purple	Grape	Wine Bottle Cork
Red	Watermelon	Ass

And yet, guess what I have in my mouth right now. Nostalgia, I guess. But oh, the bubbles, do they pop.