National Excuse For Writing Month is just around the corner. Are you gonna do it? Use it to improve your writing skills. Use it to get into the good habit of journaling daily. Or just use it to find newfound fame and glory and attain riches beyond your wildest dreams. You know, aim low.

I've got a good story, but I'm not even going to attempt that NaNoWriMo business this time around. One first draft in five tries is not a good track record, y'all, and with a certain punkinhead on the verge of crawling I don't think I could sit down to pound out 1,667 daily words if I wanted to.

However, my NaBloPoMo success rate is still 100%. And there's no word count on this bad boy -- you can put up a thirty-three-word diatribe about Sandra Lee's cosmetic surgery and it counts. That's something I can stick with. Plus, it artificially increases my penis size hit count.

Remember when I asked if you were doing it? That was rhetorical. Go sign up. Or I'll slap you with my, er, hit count.