2007/08/28 22:14
Chug to Get Started
Now that I'm home all day, I find myself watching a lot of Food Network (surprise, surprise). Honestly, though, I had no idea how far it had fallen. Didn't they used to talk about cooking?
I'd been about to write the whole thing off if it wasn't for Coop. In her time here, she helped me to come to terms with the whole ridiculous thing and turn it back on itself. Not only did we rename shows ("Barefoot Contessa," for example, became "Cooking For Jeffrey And/Or Homos"), but we managed to invent a whole Food Network drinking game.
Drink when ...
When a relative of the host first appears on camera, the first person to point out that relative may make any other player do a shot. Unmarried significant others count (Bobby Flay's girlfriend Stephanie), but acted relatives don't (Marsha and Elton Brown).
Do a bonus shot if you think Rachael Ray looks like the Joker.
Did I miss anything?
I'd been about to write the whole thing off if it wasn't for Coop. In her time here, she helped me to come to terms with the whole ridiculous thing and turn it back on itself. Not only did we rename shows ("Barefoot Contessa," for example, became "Cooking For Jeffrey And/Or Homos"), but we managed to invent a whole Food Network drinking game.
Drink when ...
- Bobby Flay sticks food right in the camera lens
- Rachael Ray takes one hand off whatever she's doing so she can talk with it
- Sandra Lee accents a preposition
- Giada DiLaurentiis pretends whatever she just put in her mouth is delicious enough to give her an orgasm
- Alton Brown uses a conjunctive adverb at the end of a shot
- Paula Deen pronounces it "bowl" instead of "boil" or "oal" instead of "oil"
- Tyler Florence mumbles so hard you can't understand him
- Emeril says "Bam!"
- Paula Deen licks her finger
- Rachael Ray says "E-V-O-O-extra-virgin-olive-oil"
- Ina Garten, having just claimed her guests will think she's been working all day, explains how simple the meal was
- Alton Brown says "That's another show"
- Do another shot if it actually is
- They show a commercial for Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations, as he already wrote this critique better than I did
- Ina Garten uses her electric juicer
- Sandra Lee has "Cocktail Time"
- Rachael Ray actually drops something
When a relative of the host first appears on camera, the first person to point out that relative may make any other player do a shot. Unmarried significant others count (Bobby Flay's girlfriend Stephanie), but acted relatives don't (Marsha and Elton Brown).
Do a bonus shot if you think Rachael Ray looks like the Joker.
Did I miss anything?
Mary tells me when Giada (or Nigella) is on. I turn the sound off and watch the whole half hour.
Its great that way.
Its great that way.
Bobby Flay and Stephanie March are married...and have been for a while.
# posted by 
: 8/29/2007 8:23 PM
: 8/29/2007 8:23 PM
You'll end up one drunk son of a bitch. There's a reason I can't stand to watch that channel. Besides finding the process of making food mostly boring. Watching someone else cook is worse except in a few rare cases when someone is a phenomenal (sp?) cook.
You could do a whole drinking game out of Alton ... "golden brown and delicious", or when he finds a use for a simple household object instead of a specialized cooking implement, chug during every seen where there's obvious sexual tension between him and "W" ... or am I the only one who sees that??
Post a Comment
<< Home
