2007/06/08 16:52
Mister Mom
I climb the stairs to my office every day. It's five floors, but it's worth the exercise since I know I'm going to spend the next eight hours sitting at a computer.
Over the last few months, those stairs have gotten harder and harder to climb. I've found myself of late standing at the foot of the first flight, gazing up and sighing with exasperation at the thought of exerting such effort to get to this office.
But today I practically bounded up them, knowing that once I reached the top, I'd be delivering my letter of resignation.
It's been a long discussion, ongoing ever since Sed and I knew we were going to get married and might have kids. I've always been of the mind that if she's a doctor, I should embrace the doctor's spouse stereotype and stay home with the kids and the housework. This bothered her for a long time -- it made her feel like I was only interested in her earning potential, rather than her sweet ... er, personality. (I'm a parent now, so I guess I have to use responsible language.) So I stopped pushing it, and agreed that even when she's raking in the buckage, I'd keep working and contribuing to our familial bottom line so as to not take advantage of her.
Then she got pregnant.
We both quickly realized that it would devastate us to let someone outside the family take care of Avery for her most important formative years. It's not realistic to expect any of our parents to move to Florida. And unfortunately for her, Sed's put so much work and money and time into her position that it would be career suicide to quit now. Besides, she loves what she does. It only makes sense that I be the one to stay home.
So as of June 23, I am no longer a research funding cop. My full-time job title becomes "dad."
Honestly, though, I'm completely psyched to take on this new position. It's a chance to really prove myself as a parent, to show that I can handle the household upkeep, and to take some of the onus off of my poor, busy wife. Besides, I'm all about inverting stereotypes. I read a statistic this week that less than one-fifth of one percent of all fathers stay home with the kids. That's got my name written all over it.
The only thing remaining is to get some on-the-job training in housekeeping. After all, I'm pretty sure the coffee table made from used pizza boxes is not acceptable beyond the men's dormitory.
Over the last few months, those stairs have gotten harder and harder to climb. I've found myself of late standing at the foot of the first flight, gazing up and sighing with exasperation at the thought of exerting such effort to get to this office.
But today I practically bounded up them, knowing that once I reached the top, I'd be delivering my letter of resignation.
It's been a long discussion, ongoing ever since Sed and I knew we were going to get married and might have kids. I've always been of the mind that if she's a doctor, I should embrace the doctor's spouse stereotype and stay home with the kids and the housework. This bothered her for a long time -- it made her feel like I was only interested in her earning potential, rather than her sweet ... er, personality. (I'm a parent now, so I guess I have to use responsible language.) So I stopped pushing it, and agreed that even when she's raking in the buckage, I'd keep working and contribuing to our familial bottom line so as to not take advantage of her.
Then she got pregnant.
We both quickly realized that it would devastate us to let someone outside the family take care of Avery for her most important formative years. It's not realistic to expect any of our parents to move to Florida. And unfortunately for her, Sed's put so much work and money and time into her position that it would be career suicide to quit now. Besides, she loves what she does. It only makes sense that I be the one to stay home.
So as of June 23, I am no longer a research funding cop. My full-time job title becomes "dad."
Honestly, though, I'm completely psyched to take on this new position. It's a chance to really prove myself as a parent, to show that I can handle the household upkeep, and to take some of the onus off of my poor, busy wife. Besides, I'm all about inverting stereotypes. I read a statistic this week that less than one-fifth of one percent of all fathers stay home with the kids. That's got my name written all over it.
The only thing remaining is to get some on-the-job training in housekeeping. After all, I'm pretty sure the coffee table made from used pizza boxes is not acceptable beyond the men's dormitory.
Whee! I'm jealous, I want to be a stay at home dad, er... mom someday. But I don't think it'd happen.
glad you finally get to spend more time with your two favorite girls. You will make a great mister mom-Avery is so lucky!
Hey Rick! Congrats on your decision! This is probably the most meaningful thing you can ever do for your daughter. Tell Sed I said hi!
-Patricia
-Patricia
# posted by 
: 6/10/2007 9:43 PM
: 6/10/2007 9:43 PM
You will be so wonderful as a stay-at-home dad! I'm glad that you can work it out to avoid daycare because that route just sucks - been there, done that!
But this doesn't mean you don't have to give up on a "career"; you are a writer and you can write from anywhere. Get that book published and write another!
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But this doesn't mean you don't have to give up on a "career"; you are a writer and you can write from anywhere. Get that book published and write another!
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