Dear Rachael Ray,

Enough is enough. I love it that you know how to quickly assemble a healthy meal that doesn't taste like cardboard; it's helped me countless nights when I'm stumped and tired. But we're all starting to get a little sick of the over-perkiness. We can tell it's forced -- nobody is that passionate about a friggin' waffle at a fast-food restaurant. Maybe you should remind your image consultant why America fell in love with you in the first place.

Love,
Mo

---

Dear Pier One,

With what you're charging for four ounces of wax with a string in it, I think you could afford the extra ink to put a verb in your slogan.

Sincerely,
Mo

---

Dear Yahoo Sports,

I'm fully aware that there are college football games being played this weekend. However, I've told you numerous times of my deep and abiding love for the Detroit Tigers, and given that this is their first postseason in nineteen years, maybe I want to see how they fared against the perennial pennant juggernaut New York Yankers before you shove a joke of a game like Clemson-Wake Forest in my face. Just for future reference.

Thanks,
Mo

---

Dear Brandon Inge,

What is up with the soul patch? I mean, seriously.

Your friend,
Mo

Labels: open letters