Are you having difficulty falling asleep? Well, never fear! My writings section is now online and more complete than ever before! I suppose that's not entirely true -- I've left out all of the fiction I completed pre-1994, as well as the things I wrote after that which sucked. But there's still plenty with which to bore you.

For the first time, I've added some of my non-fiction (and not strictly fiction) writings to the story page. It's a legitimate part of my portfolio, but until recently it never occurred to me that someone might want to read these things to assess my capabilities. In looking over my old works, I happened upon an old assignment I did for an English class of which I was exceedingly proud. "2 Lamentations" is one of the best things I've ever written, even if it is simply a parodic retread of a section of the most untouchable of all books, the Bible. Even now, though, I read it and giggle at how clever I was, working the alphabet poem angle and the state university rivalry into it.

Writing a story and having it published is the only thing I can remember wanting to do in my life. I picked journalism as a major in college because it seemed like the only way to make money writing, and you see how far that's taken me. I do follow the periodic urge to write, to create, to get something down on paper the only way I know how -- I've tried to draw, but my pathetic cartoony sketches don't come close to the power I have over words. So far, all I have to show for it is years of Web publication, and a fan base that just barely extends past my wife.

But a day will come when I find a conventional publisher who is willing to give me a chance, to let my story ride the spine of a printed manuscript as far as it can go. Whether it flops out of the gate, rather than bucking and snorting its way to fame, is another story altogether.

Don't look to me to write that one yet.