For her birthday in March, the only thing Sed's little sister (the sick one) wants is a Hannah Montana T-shirt.

I wish I knew what it was about this winkingly manufactured, no-talent hick hack that made the kids scream and the parents punch each other over tickets. Someone explain it to me. The "Achy Breaky Heart" guy shows up at the pitch meeting and says, "Uh, my daughter could sing purty good, but she oughta wear a blonde wig," and now it's a multi-million-dollar industry.

Have you ever watched an episode of that show? Here, let me save you the trouble with this synopsis: Go buy a banjo. Cover the frets with sparkly lip gloss and improvise a flying V out of a pair of toddler jeans. Then hit yourself in the forehead with it for thirty minutes. (If you're worried about brain damage, feel free to alternate between blows to the forehead and the crotch.) Congratulations -- you have just undergone the Hannah Montana Experience.

And now Miley Cyrus is acting like she's some kind of serious performing artist, taking off the wig and putting on way too short of a skirt for a 15-year old, doing the second half of her show out of character. Listen, missy, our kids didn't come to see you all tarted up, they came to see the character you play singing the songs Disney wrote for you which are all about leading a double life. Honestly, how has everyone on the show not already figured out who you are?

I guess it could be worse. At least she's not twins.