Ace of Cakes is a fun show, and normally I have no quarrel with it. But a couple weeks ago, I watched Geof recount his anger when a customer cut into his Jeep cake right in front of him.

I have three letters for you, Geof, and I probably don't have to type them out.

If you're upset that someone cut into a cake you spent hours building, then you're in the wrong business. A cake is supposed to be cut. It may look nice, but first and foremost it's food. Hence the show airing on the Food Network. If nobody messes up the cake, how are they supposed to eat it?

I suppose that's why Geof has lately taken to making so much of his "cakes" out of non-edible materials. What the hell is that, anyway? It's Ace of Cakes, not Ace of Styrofoam and Wooden Dowels. Sure, the Food Network is "way more than cooking" (which is a whole other rant), but isn't it still supposed to be about food?

Geof is a prima donna, anyway. In another episode, he intentionally left Duff hanging on camera, with the statement "High five? I don't play that jive." If he worked for me, he'd be so fired on camera. And what's with the name? If you're gonna spell it like that, spell it right. You're missing an F at the end, bunghole.

And once I cross the line into name-calling, that's where you can tell I didn't really think this post all the way through.