2006/11/08 23:03
With a Grain of Salt
I was eating some saltines at work today, and I went to put the package away, but I ran into a conundrum.
I seem to remember, when I was a kid, that the saltines used to have a little wire clasp in the box so you could seal your crackers up. But I didn't get one in this box! And if you don't close up the sleeve, the moisture gets in there, your crackers get stale, and you have to throw them away.
What's in a saltine, anyway? Basically flour, water and salt, right? A five-pound bag of flour costs $1.95, and since the box of saltines is 16 ounces it's gotta be less flour than that. Let's estimate 14 ounces, about two and a half cups. So a box of saltines uses 34 cents worth of flour -- but really, it's less because the saltine factory is buying it wholesale in 80-pound sacks. Water and salt are even cheaper than that. But they can't afford the extra penny's worth of wire and plastic so I can reclose my sleeve?
Yes, I realize the box of saltines itself costs me a whopping $1.55. But it's the principle of the thing! If I want to keep my saltines fresh, I should be provided with the ability to do so! They're forcing me to waste perfectly good crackers and buy more! Damn the man! Save the saltines!
I finally just twisted the sleeve shut and set it back in the box twist down, so the weight of the crackers holds it closed and thereby keeps the air out. Suck on that, Saltine Man! You won't be bleeding me of my hard-earned pennies!
I seem to remember, when I was a kid, that the saltines used to have a little wire clasp in the box so you could seal your crackers up. But I didn't get one in this box! And if you don't close up the sleeve, the moisture gets in there, your crackers get stale, and you have to throw them away.
What's in a saltine, anyway? Basically flour, water and salt, right? A five-pound bag of flour costs $1.95, and since the box of saltines is 16 ounces it's gotta be less flour than that. Let's estimate 14 ounces, about two and a half cups. So a box of saltines uses 34 cents worth of flour -- but really, it's less because the saltine factory is buying it wholesale in 80-pound sacks. Water and salt are even cheaper than that. But they can't afford the extra penny's worth of wire and plastic so I can reclose my sleeve?
Yes, I realize the box of saltines itself costs me a whopping $1.55. But it's the principle of the thing! If I want to keep my saltines fresh, I should be provided with the ability to do so! They're forcing me to waste perfectly good crackers and buy more! Damn the man! Save the saltines!
I finally just twisted the sleeve shut and set it back in the box twist down, so the weight of the crackers holds it closed and thereby keeps the air out. Suck on that, Saltine Man! You won't be bleeding me of my hard-earned pennies!
Aw damnit. I'm paranoid enough about overcharging weasels, now you had to go and make me think about the saltines too!
You're right about the twist-tie! I'd totally forgotten about those! I went for a long time not eating saltines, so I guess when I started buying them regularly recently I never realized the ties were gone. Cheap bastards!
What I do, though, is put aside one or two from the bread now and then and use them to tie the saltine sleeves. :)
You're right about the twist-tie! I'd totally forgotten about those! I went for a long time not eating saltines, so I guess when I started buying them regularly recently I never realized the ties were gone. Cheap bastards!
What I do, though, is put aside one or two from the bread now and then and use them to tie the saltine sleeves. :)
if you didn't come to the conclusion you did at the end, i would have recommended that. it works pretty well, but i too remember those little red ties. it's been a LONG time since i've seen them, so i haven't the faintest idea when they stopped packing them in there. lame to the max, bastards.
# posted by 
: 11/09/2006 11:05 PM
: 11/09/2006 11:05 PM
I don't eat saltines, but the girls do. They don't seem to complain about them so I don't worry about it. Of course, the two of them usually finish a pack as soon as it gets opened...
# posted by : 11/10/2006 8:42 AM
: 11/10/2006 8:42 AM
it made me really mad when Ritz stopped making their cracker packages out of brown waxed paper, and started packing them in plastic. With the wax paper, you could twist it up nice and tight and they'd stay fresh. Not so with the plastic. And unlike Saltines, Ritz crackers ARE a pretty pricey cracker!
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