We're all sitting around the dinner table when my uncle grabs his son by the head, palming it like a basketball.

"Do you know what this is?"

"No." My cousin is obviously bored with the whole routine, biding the time until he can return to the bedroom to his PlayStation.

"It's a brain-eating monster. Do you know what it's doing?"

No answer this time. He might know what's coming, but the rest of us don't.

"Starving!"

Ah, family, how I've missed you.